Document xzJk755o98wyNam7edZyr0maQ

"You've read that sentence wrong. Miss Adams--it's 'all men are created equal'--not `all men are made the same way' 1" ** Look out for the friendly gal Who loves her beer and rye; You may not know it, pal. But she'll make you buy and buy. Girl needs a job. Is willing to struggle if given opportunity. 0 * Up to the age of sixteen a boy may be a boy scout. But from that time on he's a girl scout. Nothing robs a man of his good looks like a hurriedly-drawn shade. Chief: "How come you're late this morning, Joe?'' Fireman: "I overslept." Chief: "What! Do you sleep at home, too?" Then there was the bitter golf match between two Scots under a broiling sun, in which one of them had a stroke --and the other made him count it. "Now Gus, that's what I call a real-- well, that's just what I call a real GURU" Some doctor says that kissing shortens life. Sure it does--single. ** House Dick (on phone): Are you en tertaining a man in your room? Tootsie: Just a minute--I'll ask him I * The reason a dog has so many friends is that his tail wags instead of his tongue. A salesman became tired of his job and joined the police force. Later, when asked how he liked his new job, he replied: "Swell: the pay is good, the hours O. K., and the customer is always wrong." ** * The best way to get a person's head out of the clouds and his feet on the ground is to place some heavy responsibility upon his shoulders. . Shot--that which, if some people have more than one, they're half. Before signing a receipt for his pay check, the young man was handed a 'company form slip with the wording: "Your salary is your personal business--a confidential matter--and not to be disclosed to anybody else." He read it carefully, then, shielding the paper with his hand, he wrote: "I won't mention it to anybody. I'm just as much ashamed of it as you are." He: "Now that we are married, perhaps I can point out a few of your defects." She: "Don't bother, dear. I know all about them. It's those defects that kept me from getting a better man than you." Woman Customer (in bank): "I would like to make a loan." Bank Official: "You'll have to see Use loan arranger." Woman: "Who?" Official: "The loan arranger. The loan arranger!" Woman: "Oh, you mean the one who says, `Hi-Ho Silver*?" "My you're handsome! You're brave! You sot everything! Now you run right in and ask her to sharpen this pencil for you." The family had overdept and the lady of the house woke with a start to the clanking of cans down the street. She remembered that the garbage had not been put out, and raced down to the front door, struggling into a robe, with her hair in curlers, and looking sleepyeyed. "Yoo boo," she called. "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No," shouted the collector. "Jump right in." ** An elderly gentleman saw a young boy sitting on the curb crying and sobbing. "Why are you crying, little boy?" the oldster asked. "Because I can't do what the big boys do," he sobbed. So the oldtuner sat down on the curb and-cried tool .* * * Then there is a nurse who is so con ceited that when she takes her patient's' pulse, she subtracts ten beats for her personality. 31 "Tea mistakes in this one letter-- Miss Lovelace - you're fi-- you're fire--oh, er--ah, that's a lovely dress. Miss Lovelace!'' CRIMDEBN00000296