Document DD1nMnK9K7xBn8DLn0Xan6vL5

! >L*en rc* is- Tht I Ellion ] the pu li'ijipm I I< 'i>i it ' /Haitian I " sererall / c-ir.f ,,.:n:.:rr called at the Jones home one c'n-.e aiVrnoon. and little Willie aiuwcrrj ,he bell. "Pa ain't home," he an nounced. - He went over to the golf club." The minister's brow darkened, and Willir hastened to explain: -oh, he ain't gonna play any golf. Not on Sunday. He just went over for a few highballs and a little stud poker." * tiirl Friend: 'I hope von don't mind how 1 U,,,k. I * as in such a hurry I just threw cmtrir together/' Bov Friend: `'That's all right. Everything cure landed in the right places." Atummerrrsortis often a pleasan t strut ringground where nobody knows how unim portant you are at home. "Why,** demanded the bride at her first hurbail game, "do they bring the pitcher hu sweater when he gets to first base?*' **So his arm won't get chilled." "Oh,* it colder on first base?" A mao was driving past a lake in a park : the rime when the park attendants wet poring swans, geese, and ganders into th water. Interested, he parked his car an annUTTd over to the water's edge, joinin several other onlookers. A ooc of the attendants opened a cral and released some birds, he said: "Mistei Wwrio you know which are the geese an r. *** *he ganders?" ivT* donV'- replied the worker. "W Tf rioo thcm *"e in the water and It I GpiPC it out for themselves." (to little boy eating ac for the worms, Sonny.' feWiff^ierj: rWh'n I eat an apple, tt fig*** foe themselves." It was a hot summer day as the wizened rancher rode across the dusty plains aboard an ancient passenger train. Windows were open, dust and smoke rolled into the coaches, and the rancher's tongue was blistering. For hours he suffered. Suddenly, he dashed into the adjoining car, shouting: ``Hey, has anybody got a drink? Quick. Has anybody a drink? A woman just fainted." Two men slipped bottles from their hip pockets. The rancher grabbed one, pulled the cork, drank a couple of long swigs. Smacking his lips, and breathless, he handed the bottle back with a grateful sigh: "Thanks, Mister, it sure makes me nervous to see a woman faint." "Does your husband always live up to his promises of his. courtship days?" "Always- In those days he said he wasn't good enough far me, and he has been prov ing it ever since." * Two girls met for lunch and were discussing their marriage prospects. "I hear your boy friend graduates from law school next month. I guess you'll get married then?" "Oh, no, not right away," answered the other. ``I want him to practice about a year first." it Judge: "How did the trouble start?" Defendant: "Well, judge, she asked me to play a round and I didn't know she was a golfer." The world is full of willing people; some are willing to work, the rest willing to let them. A three-year-old boy cried bitterly as a large friendly dog bounded up to him, licking his hands and .face. "What is it?" asked his mother. "Did he bite you?" .* `No," came the reply, "but he tasted me!" Science is wonderful. Now someone has invented a hollow moth ball for the girls to keep bathing suits inside of. it The cub reporter who was assigned to cover the class play of the high school came in for his share of literary fame when the follow ing write-up appeared: "The auditorium was filled with expectant mothers, eagerly awaiting the appearance of their offspring." * Yachtsman: "If this storm continues, I'll have to heave to." Seasick Passenger: "What a horrid way of putting it." The bigger the summer vacation, the harder the fall. A bathing suit is a garment that has been cut down to see level. One day two men were riding on the train discussing whether they should go to Minneapolis or Saint Paul. "I don't want to go to Minneapolis," said one, "too many Swedes there." "I guess Saint Paul is out, too," ob served the other, "too many Swedes." An elderly Swedish lady sitting behind them overheard their comments and spoke up and said, "Excuse me, jentlemen, but if you arc looking for a place var there ain't no Swedes--vy don't you go to hell?" A German and a Russian were fishing on opposite sides of the river that divided the Russian and American zones. The German caught fish after fish, while the Russian didn't get a bite. Finally, the Russian yelled across the river, "How is it you catch fish and I get none?" The German thought a minute, then replied, "I guess on your side they arc afraid to open their mouths." POWERFAX. SUMMER 1954 PAGE