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To: 'Matt Todd' <ToddM@api.org>; 'benzconsort-oc@listserve.api.org' <benzconsort- oc@ listserve. api. org>; 'benzconsort-tc@ listserve. api. org' <benzconsort-tc@ listserve. api. org>; 'benzconsort- cc@listserve.api.org' <benzconsort-cc@listserve.api.org> From: Clegg, Patsy M SCC-CHSE-PC </O=SHE LUOU=MSXSCC/CN=RE CI PI ENTS/CN=PH197432> Cc: Bcc: Received Date: 2005-09-16 17:23:51 GMT Subject: RE: SHS: Study Summary Revised Good rewrite. My spell-check identified that well-managed should not be hyphenated. Patsy -----Original Message----From: Matt Todd [mailto:ToddM@api.org] Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2005 10:59 AM To: benzconsort-oc@listserve.api.org; benzconsort-tc@listserve.api.org; benzconsort-cc@listserve.api.org Subject: RE: SHS: Study Summary Revised BHRC Committee Member: Due to significant comments and changes to the SHS Summary document, please review the attached, revised version instead of the document that was circulated on 9/13. The deadline for review and comment remains October 7th. Regards, Matt From: Matt Todd Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2005 12:09 PM To: BHRC Oversight Committee (benzconsort-oc@listserve.api.org); BHRC Technical Committee (benzconsorttc@listserve.api.org); BHRC Communications Committee (benzconsort-cc@listserve.api.org) Subject: SHS: Study Summary BHRC Committee Member: Please review the attached SHS Study Summary and provide comments back to me by COB October 7th. This SHELL-MCCLURG-060143 document will be distributed to the SHS Symposium attendees to provide an overview of the study. Regards, Matt Matthew Todd American Petroleum Institute 1220 L Street NW Washington DC 2005 www.api.org SHELL-MCCLURG-060144 To: 'brian.e.doll@exxonmobil.com' <brian.e.doll@exxonmobil.com> From: Clegg, Patsy M SCC-CHSE-PC </O=SHE LUOU=MSXSCC/CN=RE CI PI ENTS/CN=PH197432> Cc: 'benzconsort-cc@listserve.api.org' <benzconsort-cc@listserve.api.org>; 'benzconsort- oc@ listserve. api. org' <benzconsort-oc@ listserve. api. org>; 'benzconsort-tc@ listserve. api. org' <benzconsort- tc@listserve.api.org>; 'Matt Todd' <ToddM@api.org> Bcc: Received Date: 2005-09-1621 :21:46 GMT Subject: RE: SHS: Study Summary Revised I support Brian's excellant suggestion. Thanks for your thoughtful review. Patsy -----Original Message----From: brian.e.doll@exxonmobil.com [mailto:brian.e.doll@exxonmobil.com] Sent: Friday, September 16, 2005 3:51 PM To: Clegg, Patsy M SCC-CHSE-PC Cc: benzconsort-cc@listserve.api.org; benzconsort-oc@listserve.api.org; benzconsort-tc@listserve.api.org; Matt Todd Subject: RE: SHS: Study Summary Revised Patsy, et. ai., I have made a few changes for your consideration that builds on Jennifer's draft. The following changes are consistent with the "Committee Roles and Responsibilities" document on the SHS website: -- Consistently capitalized "Principal Investigators " -- Added "Review" to "Ethics Panel" to make it "Ethics Review Panel" -- Added "independent" to the descriptions of the people on both the SRP and ERP The following were more worksmithing/changes in style and are open to debate: -- I do not particularly like calling this a "study" in the first paragraph and then saying it is "actually 3 studies" in the second paragraph. In our "Main Messages" document on the website, we refer to this as a "project" when talk about the whole thing, and to 3 studies when talking about the parts. I adopted this convention for the paper. -- I think the word "benzene" should be in the first paragraph unless someone can think of a good reason why it should not be. -- In the last paragraph, would it be more accurate to say it is the "results of the studies" rather than the "study" that we want to become a part of the body of scientific research on benzene? Have a good weekend. Regards, Brian (See attached file: Summary for symposium BEDoll.doc) SHELL-MCCLURG-060145 .. Clegg. Patsy M SCC-CHSE-PC" <patsy. clegg @s To hell.com> "Matt Todd" <ToddM@api.org>, <benzconsort-oc@listserve.api.org>, <benzconsort-tc@ listserve. api. org>, 09/16/05 01 :23 <benzconsort-cc@ listserve. api. org> PM ~ Subject RE: SHS: Study Summary Revised Good rewrite. My spell-check identified that well-managed should not be hyphenated. Patsy -----Original Message----From: Matt Todd [mailto:ToddM@api.org] Sent: Thursday, September 15, 2005 10:59 AM To: benzconsort-oc@listserve.api.org; benzconsort-tc@listserve.api.org; benzconsort-cc@listserve.api.org Subject: RE: SHS: Study Summary Revised BHRC Committee Member: Due to significant comments and changes to the SHS Summary document, please review the attached, revised version instead of the document that was circulated on 9/13. The deadline for review and comment remains October 7th. Regards, Matt From: Matt Todd Sent: Tuesday, September 13, 2005 12:09 PM To: BHRC Oversight Committee (benzconsort-oc@listserve.api.org); BHRC Technical Committee (benzconsort-tc@listserve.api.org); BHRC Communications Committee (benzconsort-cc@listserve.api.org) Subject: SHS: Study Summary BHRC Committee Member: Please review the attached SHS Study Summary and provide comments back to me by COB October 7th. This document will be distributed to the SHS Symposium attendees to provide an overview of the study. SHELL-MCCLURG-060146 Regards, Matt Matthew Todd American Petroleum Institute 1220 L Street NW Washington DC 2005 www.api.org SHELL-MCCLURG-060147